weirdness, randomness and seriousness

RANDOMNESS! i think my brother is in love :O how do i know? i stalked his facebook and his blog xD WOOPIEEEEE!! sorry i'm a stalker bro :)) but how else am i gonna find out bout this? haha you should've told me! then i can tell you mine awwww...too bad then :/ anyways.... BE A MAN!! YOU MUST BE SWIFT AS A COURSING RIVER BE A MAN! WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF A GREAT TYPHOON!! WHAT?! this IS called randomness isn't it? i know i'm awesome :D:D:D

WEIRDNESS! eeeyerrr, i think i kinda like someone? i don't know! but who cares? and yeah, i don't really hate my mom anymore i guess, now it's kinda more like a mutual anger thing.. mad at her mostly, but not hatred? beyond madness but not hatred? i dunno...well thank you Bryan, i know i can call or text you when i need to you told me that like a dozen times already xD haha just kidding! i don't need anyone to talk to for the moment :)) i'm happy go lucky? not really, if i was i wouldn't deactivate my facebook would i?

SERIOUSNESS!err yeah, i kinda deactivated my facebook? i kept my twitter though..yeah something came up and i.. .well, let's say i don't want to see facebook for a while..or anyone in facebook..all those emo posts by emo friends and all, i'll miss them, and someone actually misses my frequent and mist random updates! haha well thanks then! but all those things wouldn't matter now.. i've been emo for far too long i'm not making my blog more emo thn it already is....i WILL be back on facebook, just let me figure and sort some things out and you'll see my most random, frequent, annoying, long updates :3 yesh i know! I WILL BE BACK #MUAHAHAHAH

EXTRA-SERIOUSNESS! seriously?! i didn't think you would end up like that! knew you would somehow get bad but i didn't imagine this! migosh! what's happened to you? what happened to the girl who sings 'just the way you are' at the most random times ever? the one who sleptover at my house once, the one whom i had random convos once! Gosh! i missed that girl! i'll pray hard for you! God bless! take care kkays?!!? i really wish there was something i can help but even i'm in trouble now, and i can't tell anyone! so the best i can do for you now is call you and talk :( sorry bout that! but please be okay, please take care o yourself, there are other people out there who care about you!! me & Jas & our CG & Bry for instance! take care of yourself! don't let us worry and regret our whole lives that we didn't keep you and made you stay here in our church where we could always watch over you! but remember this! Jesus will always guard you, protect you and comfort you at any time! take care :)

well that's it for today i guess :x no facebook for me for now :s miss me already? awhhh i have twitter! and 2 working phones though one is out of battery right now.....but heck you can still call me up xD hahah well see ya!

FIRETRUCK YOU!

don't even bother trying! in fact, don't even try to sabotaj that one speck of respect i STILL have for you. i'm IN  RAGE, YES! IN 1 WHOLE YEAR I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS MAD!! NOT WHEN I GOT THAT FREAKING WARNING LETTER, NOT WHEN I GOT IN TROUBLE IN SCHOOL WITH THOSE TEACHERS! NOT BETWEEN THE FIGHTS I HAD WITH MY BEST FRIEND, AND CERTAINLY NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THAT ONE PERIOD OF TIME I WAS BULLIED..NO! NOT EVEN IN RAGE ENOUGH TO TYPE IT OUT ON MY BLOG! CONGRATULATIONS! YOU JUST BOUGHT YOURSELF A PLACE ON MY BLOG!== 

why do i even bother ==  what does that BBQ party have anything to do with me anyway?! count your budget properly when you're trying to host a stupid party like this for other people, it's not even you hosting it! you bought everything for them at least get the budget back you freaking idiot! you just cost me my whole plan for the rest of the month, not to mention my offerings, lunch and dinner money and my savings i was planning to use for my friends birthday! THANKS ALOT YOU! THAT MADE MY DAY == FIREETRUUUCKKK!!!!! get the hell outta my sight you freak! you better not mess up youth camp! or realy don't even say that one speck...you're losing that one DROP of respect i have for you!!

THANKS ALOT! 
#PLANSPOILER
#MONEYCHEATER
#LIAR
#BEEYATCH!

shyt this i'm spamming horror movies! because looking at faces that cause nightmares! MIGHT SOMEHOW BE BETTER THAN LOOKING AT YOURS!

ALIVE

been a bit depressed lately to even crawl up here to update this blog..OOPS
don't want to think back on what you guys missed, well if you know me and i trust you enough, i already told you what happened on the streets and on the bridge, done with that story..NO MORE THINKING!

under some circumstances, i realised and know alot about myself in the past few weeks.. to be honest i'm not the best person to be friends with but thank you if you are =) i realised that no matter what happens, Jesus will really always be there...He always did, always has and always will =)

well, enough with the sad parts, PMR coming up i can't afford to be sad anymore i guess...sigh, well even if i'm not fine *fake a really convincing smile* i'm fine =) and will always be :D:D:D:D hahaha xD

fought with my mom again...sigh, no dinner again tonight...OOPS...well i'm alive and well, His spirit lives within me =)

leave me

i don't want to hear a single soul tell me they would never leave me when they don't mean it at all.... all i knew my whole life is that those are all lies... you don't mean it! none of you meant it..

when you promised me you would never leave me, what were you thinking?  yeah, the original Letitia Liew Hew Yan is a great disappointment to everyone.  why are you even talking to me anyway?  amusement? or just someone to kill time for you? what am i to you anyway? NOT WORTH IT! 

i've had people coming in and out into my life, i don't want you to be one of them too..you mean a lot to me, and now you're gone...you may say you're not, but i know the truth..everything's gone,whatever we used to share is gone since the text...and it's not coming back again is it? it's not..is it? tell me would ya?

i used to think this could last longer, but it couldn't...you were like him, when i decided to tell, everything ended there :( it's nothing special between us..not like him..but even as a friend you told me you would never leave me, but you still did..yeah..

to M, every morning you have to ruin everything, but still i promised someone i would take care of myself, even though the person is gone, the promise lives, i would take care of myself...i'm not gonna let you ruin it again, i've been living under fear for far too long i guess..

announcement

i'm gonna get a part time job for this holiday :/ OOPS...someone's not gonna like this idea i guess...LOL just text me if you need to know more :(

Chip :)

aww Chip, people like you more than they like me~ but it's okay, you deserved it..after all you're just darn cute! :) here's my lap again...have a nice nap :) and this time please don't poop on me :)hahah just kidding  xDD

hey guys!! so recently i got a new guinea pig!! WOOTS!!! newest addition to the family and my whole family wants to cook you up :/ hmm...if they do i'll probably make them into human pie...haha don't be afraid lil guy! haha well, you seem colourful enough that everyone loves you~ hahaha and now you're asleep again....on my lap.... like a giant puffball....HAH!! 

last night, he enjoyed his first apple~ awwwhh..and he couldn't finish it today, but he'll want it~ it's easy to feed you lil guy..but please eat something when i'm NOT feeding you...AAHH!!!! CHIP IS JUST SO DARN CUTE!!! :)) love you Chip! i promie i won't make the same mistake :)

#3moredays

#3moredays baby! and you're coming home!!! stupid trials..who puts science and history on the same day?! idiots! LOL! 

well, basically, i've never been more disappointed of myself ever....after what i saw today, i'm the most idiotic one you'll ever know X(  sometimes when things change, and you lose Your way, just remember there's always one person behind the back of your mind..call out to Him and He will be there....#ForeverAndAlways

still can't think of a name for you!! URGH! cookie? your colours remind me of cookies! and no i am not naming you Thunder...D, please stop talking bout thunder cookies cause i ain't naming him/her thunder....

ahh, every morning, waking up to a nice hot bath, but then fantasies don't last long... every time i come out of the bath i face the same thing over and over again every single morning...why??? is it something i did? did i do anything at all that makes you hate me so freakin badly? DID I?!  please! i've had enough of this drama! and why do you suspect everything of me?! my friends are as good as ever, they never once make me feel like my life's in a threat! but well, i guess no matter what i do, it'll never be enough to satisfy you... NEVER! 7As in UPSR? hah! didn't mean anything comparing to D's 3As 3Bs and 1D

distinction acheivement in form 2 for english? hah! nothing comparing to D's 50% on his exams... 

beating all the guys in class during english class on a debate competition?? winning in one try, till the whole class literally declared i was number 1..pssshhh, nothing compared to D's bball skills... i'm nothing, yeah i get it now..

why do i care so much bout what you think of me? i don't really...just curious what DAHECK i ever did to you to make you hate me so badly :(

#3moredays and i will have my company back....Jesus has always had my back right? so why do i care? #3moredays and i finally get someone to love in this place! 

teehee

COUNTDOWN!!

#4moredays

4 more days and trial exams will end, the second my trials end! i will be free at last!!! FREE AT LAST!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!! haha, LOLS! ahahaa!! but until then something amazing will be happening!!

*AHEM* welcoming a new addition to the family!!!! thinking of the name though :) 

haahaha!!! well, to be honest, i don't really know why i'm having him/her.. maybe it's because i really needed a physical thing beside me i guess...something that comforts me when i need it to... like how you guys did :) well, i've only seen you once, but by this Friday, welcome to your new home! hahaha!! said it earlier and making it more of a big deal on Friday itself! 

back to this morning.....do you have to make everything seem bad for the day? lucky! AWESOME MEE HERE AIN'T FALLING DOWN SO EASILY! i've had enough to put up with for the day i'm freakin sickand tired and sick and tired! so i would really like it if you would just shut up for one freaking day! it's bad enough i have to put u with you everyday....GAH! what am i talking bout?! no one cares anyways!

BLEKK!!! and you! you better take your money back on Sunday or i'll never get in your car again xD LOL haha JK depends...but srsly, take your money back - -

okie!! maths trials today!! OHHMIIGOOOSSSHHH!!! never been so happy my whole life...i actually knew how to answer the questions!! thank God for helping me focus on my studies when i need to xD 

srsly all glory to God for that :) 

heard an awesome song! can't stop now!! WOOTSS!!! underrated band :(

and KC, you really sot jor.....

okays back to the point!! COUNTDOWN STARTS TODAY !!!! FRIDAY HERE I COME!!! 

TEEHEE

thank you :)

all that you've done for me...thanks bro :) everything you did, and what you told me today will never be forgotten...if you cried for me, then Jesus is doing the same thing more...2000 years ago, someone died on the cross thinking of me...of the hurts and the scars and the sins... when i chose to lay everything down unto You, Father, you gave me hope, and now losing it just ain't a good idea...

here's my heart Oh Jesus, it's not much but it's everything i got;..

SHUT UP!

if i was anything like you, this family would be in a bigger jeopardy than it is right now.... i may look like you, but i am NOTHING like you...what do you want from me? you already got my life, what else? because of you, i tried to isolate myself from my friends and be emo just so i don't have to rely on anyone... and guess what? still doing da same here woman! make up your mind! daheck do you want from me?!  you can go pour your overflowing love over your precious son for all i care..i don't need you..you even got him to be on your side...if D hadn't learn anything from me..then i really don't know what everything's gonna turn out like... and dang i can't speak at all! AT ALL!!! hurts whenever i try! dang! btw, announcement time!!

I'VE DONE SOMETHING....

ahh..where to start? hmm, okay...i was stupid and i let history repeat itself... to be honest i regretted it.. and i ain't proud that i did it either.. 

DANG!!! now people think i'm an emo person LOL! that ain't fun at all! where was the Letty that used to see things so clearly? the Letty that saw everything as it is..and the Letty who accepted everything with a punishment?? well, *speaker* SHE'S MURDERED AND DEAD! 

she's dead.... reality killed her, this family killed her..death killed her... and everything else in this world that got to her has a part of this... she still loves all of you though :) she cherishes all of your worries for her (and deeply regretting for making any of you worry) she left words for everyone too :')

things she's been keeping and wanted to tell everyone 

Tiffy, thanks for being my laughter, you're cheekiness has got to me and yes it's spreading like a virus :) love ya Tiffy, forever and always <3 font="font">

Jas, you're always there to listen and shut up bout it when i needed someone to shut up and listen to all my whining..and yes it annoys you, but still thank you <3 font="font">

Faiths, you guys are just awesome people, being friends with you guys have also been one of the best memories ever <3 font="font">

Jo-jo, we haven't been getting along that well till recently, but even then, thank you for being supportive and tried to cheer me up

youth leaders, thanks guys, love you guys just LOTS! for the past 3 years i learned a lot from you guys and i will always remember to trust God, but i might need some boost and a place to stay sometimes :P haha but still thanks 

:) love ya guys <3 font="font">

Bry, you....are just way awesome! haha, best big bro i've ever had i guess :) and weird that i'm being cheesy..LOL.. thanks for listening and giving your best effort to help me..and all those times i did something..err, yeah thanks :) i appreciated it and understand no matter how much i shoo you away i will fail, i get that now...you ketua pengawas have a weird way of persuading people to stay :)

Jing Jing, Kitty Kat, YUKI, we've been through a lot together haven't we? but i gotta say once we change, we'll never be the same again..hope you guys understand..and that one thing is all of us has changed..but still i guess that we're still together all thanks to God \, having you guys around really brought me great comfort..

Kitty Kat, i said something really awful to you the other day, i'm really sorry , and if you don't know what it is i quote " i'm strong enough to take care of myself, i don't need your pity" i know it hurts ya, so sorry bout that, you have been a great comfort in times of trouble and sorry for calling you kitty kat infront of your parents...but i will continue to call you kitty kat till i find a better name to tease you xD

Keegan, you..great alpha! and you respected what i couldn't share to you..thanks so much..great support! and i really need help :p

sis Siew Chin, figured you read my blog the other day, so mentioning your name here's probably a great idea, and btw, you and Bry stalked my blog the other day! LOL haha but it IS a blog anyway, thank you for the weirdly late birthday wish :) but seriously, thank you for being a motherly figure to me :) my family probs and all, everyone i mentioned here are like my family..so thank you sis Siew Chin for being the "mommy"! haha xD

AWFUL :(

OHIO!! and again, i came to a conclusion that no matter how hard you try to push away the people who actually care, it's just darn useless cause they won't budge..Bry, you've proven me wrong..once again...shoo-in you away ain't working..YES I GET THAT NOW! LOL!! haha, right....

everything that happened for the past week...i can say i've had enough of it - - what happened at home... trial exams, and dang i'm sick now! i got the flu again!!! NNOOOO!!!! can't breathe!! urgh! DDAAAYUUMM!!! my throat!!! DARN IT~!!! feeling awful....it feels like a ton of weight dropping on my shoulders at the same time :( ain't happy bout it!! dang this!! URGH!

and btw, if you want me dead so badly you can always kick me out and lemme starve, but take this, God will open a way... and he's your son for goodness sake! you hate me that much i can get it! but cummon! treat your son how deserved to be treated! after what happened...David Liew, i'm proud of ya :) but please don't take the risk again, it tore my heart apart when i heard what you say..but i'm happy and i'm proud of you :) jie is really proud of you bro :) 

cheesy words coming from my mouth ..WOAH...EWWW...but really...at least what i did didn't go to waste =DD BWUAHAHAH!!! well, now, i'm probably half dead...since you don't really care..you can leave me like this! because i've had enough to take with you! i can't take this anymore!  can't believe i did what i never to let history repeat itself..but NO! because of you, i broke my record! i broke my record and let history repeat itself! you'd think a girl would learn after her first or second experience, but still... the scars you left are too deep to forget... never ever gonna forget what you did...never....forgiveness, lemme try... you say you want forgiveness from us, but you are doing everything i can't forget...i can't forget! I JUST CAN'T!!!!!! 

i'll do everything to protect my brother..i will! i swear! 

i'm sorry everyone, i've failed you

yoyo guys!!been a long time since i crawled up here to update the blog, been busy lately :/ sorry guys! anyways the reason i'm here today is to make an announcement.

I'M SORRY GUYS, I'VE FAILED YOU. 

i'm really sorry guys, i don't deserve your care. i'm really sorry. i haven't been able to think clearly for the past couple of days..i'll continue to trust God that he'll provide a solution for all my problems. but for what i did and what i'm gonna do..i'm so sorry guys, i haven't been able to think straight and clearly for a solution. but i know all these have to come to an end, and dear Bry, thanks for being there for me when i desperately needed someone there...but everything's changing now, since yesterday, everything's gotta change, i finally understand that now. don't waste your time on me, because i don't deserve this, there are other people out there who needs your care more than i do..they might need it for 100% and having their cases even more badly than mine...they need you more, i guess we'll just be friends then :) you don't have to care anymore..none of you have to care anymore...because everything is over...i'm done, i can't take this anymore...i know i've said it before and in the end i always turn out fine. and this time it will be the same...i'll be fine, so none of you have to worry bout me anymore...i'll stand strong like how i always have. i'll make sure i'm fine and maybe when you see me in the streets, you can pretend you don't know me...break ties with me or whatever if you want, but i can't take this any longer. i've failed.. and this time what she did, and what i've seen in my house last night, i can say i'm half joyed but also in the same time i feel so much like killing myself.... just ending this life...but it's not my life to end....

DAAAYUUMM

pretending like i'm okay, acting like there's nothing wrong. but you know don't you? that everything is wrong... everything....

what happened to the old Letty that i used to love? well, she's being murdered... even right now this second... she's slowly dying inside.. Letty is dying..and yet she's still holding on to God for hope, her last source of life...

it hurts, it hurts so bad....physically, emotionally...it hurts...i can't see, i can't feel...where was the old Letty? who saw things the way they are? and the Letty, who believed that everyone's an angel inside? the Letty that believed in promises...the Letty who once loved everything? i'm sorry, but she died

dilemmas all over again

kinda going through a hard time..so i decided to blog.. kinda..LOL...

to Mr 1312.
a few weeks ago you confessed.. i gotta say, i was shocked that you never gave up.. not just that but also, you took everything to a next level.. a.k.a DRAMA!!  we were great friends before..why would you wanna break that? putting us in a relationship when it was one sided ain't really what you wanted either right?
but please, you can;t expect me to like you when i already like someone else...i need some time away from you...please! i have enough to think i don;t want more to be added! and you know it! i trusted you enough to tell you what i'm going through...but can't you understand? you might be a year older than me, but that doesn't actually make you boss of everything you know..PLEASE! i just want to be friends..not listing you in the friend zone or anything if that's what you're afraid of...i just wish you never asked that...we were once so close together... all that hasn't changed! you changed! i tried! i really did! but please!! urgghh!!!
i thought you meant what you sad, heh, you'd think a girl would learn!




INSOMNIA
having insomnia for a month now, couldn't sleep at night... feel like a walking corpse! shoot this! i just want to go to bed is that so hard?! but on the bright side... Matthew 11:28 "come to me all ye who are weary and burdened and i will give you rest" it worked, prayer is the key to every spiritual warfare... i'm still going through some now...losing hope in life...but i have faith, He's gonna be the one to change it! thanks to a certain someone that reminded me that :) thanks Bro! you were there when i needed someone to be... thanks! but still srry that you got bored..and don;t tell me you haven't..don't tell me it ain't true when it obviously is..i'm 15, an adolescent, not a kid...i can think.. and i act happy,
but not behind every smiley face is real happiness, you taught me that too didn't you?

a promise

don't give me promises you can't keep,
iron on the outside,
flesh and blood on the inside,
no matter what,
a heart is a heart,
you break it,
no way you're fixing it..


fresh blood, 
as red as a rose,
dripping,
drop by drop,
and 1 drop is all it takes,
where sins are forgiven.
heavens are torn.
sinners used to be trapped between hell and heaven.
and God opened a gate to us.


God gave me a heart,
but he didn't give you the permission to break it.
not handing it to you.
forever and always.
let it be a lesson.
where everything you know has fallen apart,
and you can't trust anyone.
trust God, for He is the only one

in a dilemma >< weird one

i'm no big singer, i ain't on some McDonald ad, but hey i love singing! what you got to do bout that? the second i did a cover and the whole world is on a rage. starting a riot against me in school?? haha!! i'm not afraid, compare to God, you're nothing!

Romans 8:31 - If God is for us, who can be against us.

i'm not gonna tell God how big my problems are, instead i'll tell you cruel, nasty, critical people how big MY GOD is. you are nothing comparing to my God. you are nothing!

anyways moving on to mah dilemma!! TROLL!! haha!! anyways~ should i or should i not do the cover?? hmm? feel like doin it, but to be honest i'm still wooped over by the last incident >< lalalalalala!!! i'm craaaazaaaaayyy~!!!! so who caaarees??! i'm doin it! not for anyone to enj0oy, but for God! WOOOOOOOTTTSSS!!!!! #ImAwesomeAndIKnowIt  #LOL

haha, so the cover thiny, Jas my best friend and i have been thinking bout this for a while, wonder if we should do a cover? ahh well~ everything she decides lah~ but still~ i would really love it though~ 

#ImCraazaayAndIKnooowIt  yes, for doing the cover or for anything, i'm crazy and i'm nuts! somehow it makes me me~ kinda kiiuut ain't it? WOO!! haha got this disease from mah other best fridn TIFFY!!! TIFFAAAYY!! you got me NUUUTSS!!! but still, i'm happier this way~ what makes me special i guess :))

sexaaay Tiffy's got mah craazaay! WOOTS!! ain't gettin me sexy that's for sure!

LOL anyways, blogging's been fun~ love it! got some other social networks too!

check me out :)

Facebook

Tumblr

twitter

follow me :) no worries bout stalking! just don't break into mah house :o

haha!well this IS my b log and if you're seeing any of the above then this is mah blog address LOL

Letitia's awesome ain't she?? haha

twitter family's not back, so is my brother, or mah friends, well, i'm lonely :( but nehmind lah~ i've got Jesus with me :)

gtg byess!

i'm baaaaacckkk!!!! intro to some new family members

first of all, i'm finally back from my aunt's house and the gang went to church camp! fun fun fun!! LOLO miss those guys tho! and him xD


anyways, intro intro intro~~~ bla bla bla~~ yeah yeah i'm just getting there.
okie, from the twitter family we introduce you to!!
the Alpha-Keegan Ten
the small Alpha- Benjamin Choong
Beta- me!! Letitia Liew
small Beta- Didi Chong
Delta- Zoe Claire




okie!! lol, first time tweeting with these guys and i over-tweeted my limit LOL. well, they're goin to camp, so goodbye for 4 days !!! BOOHOO!!! lol we can still text


btw, watched Snow White and the Huntsman, freagin awesome! #KristenStewart #ChrisHemsworth ohhmiigoooooshh!! Chris is totally awesome as the huntsman!! and you gotta admit Kristen Stewart is better at Snow White than Bella. but anyways it's still awesome!! #AWESOMENESS!


and no to those of you who don't know, i don't have a crush on some random hot dude that i don't know, i go by "don't judge a book by it's cover" so even if your're a hunky dude, if you're a devil inside then no i won't have a crush on you, having a crush goes by feelings. prettiness is skin deep if you're a devil inside.


and yes, if you're gonna take offense in that, then please do. i'm not gonna care that much anymore, like my post before, i've lost too many people i care about, even if you guys said i didn't lose you, in your hearts you all know i already did.... no need to care bout my feelings. just go enjoy that life of yours, it's probably better without me.


but in other words, it took a lot of courage out of me to create that post. 
and God is my source of hope, strength, faith, peace, and courage,. and many more, so i really need to thank God for that. All Glory to God! praise the Lord!


LOL
 okie!
bye for now
see ya later PEEPS

weird hols

my cousin is really annoying!! but without him, it wouldn't be much fun!

whenever i see him, instincts tell me to start spitting on my hand and run!

LOL weird way huh.

too bad there ain't a 'blogger for android', else it would be alot easier for me to blog. lol. that;'s why we have tumblr~

but still, social networks did ruin my life, so i'm not that into it..

it's Friday!!! TGIF!!
gonna go spam some songs for that haha!
but all in all, this Friday, and any other Friday will be dedicated to God, really gotta thank Him i'm still alive this moment.
wow this keyboard is hard to type..... *frustrated*
#ImAwesomeAndIKnowIt
haha LOL that was random
#hurrayforrandomness !

tomorrow would be movie day at Mid Valley with mah cousins again! one big crazy family!

suddenly remembered that one of my hamsters died while i was at the movies.. no BLUFFY!!! don't go!!!! 

haha yeah #MissThatFluffBall

but hey all my hamsters died out of old age, so it still comforting to know they're with God now, they're in good hands!

lol total randomness oveeeerrr!! LOL least it's better than being at home

like i said, a house is not a home when your loved ones are gone.

rhymes~ LOL took it out from lyrics haha!

my brother is spamming KPOP beside me LOL==

#NotAwesomeAtAll

gotta go now, done blogging. re-blog at night perhaps?? LOL miss mah!!

TEEHEE

stand strong in our promise. please!

do you remember the first time we talked?

we still do

but it's something more.

the second i found

that i never had you

the way i wanted to

heartbreaks

confusion

depression

and finally acceptance.

this is enough

our promise. 

thank you for keeping that promise.

you're great.

you're great.

for crying for me.

over something so small

it's not everything.

my life's not over

things like this come and go

but how i wish it doesn't

things haven't started,

but it already feels like the end has come.

i'm stupid,

reckless,

useless,

but faith in God has brought you to me.

i thank God for this.

i believe

as time flies by

i will

one day

find the courage.

to confess

to accept failure.

don't think bout me

cause i cannot bear

to see you hurt

over someone 

like me

that is so reckless.

stand strong.

to your future partner,

you found a great guy.

treasure him, 

because God has blessed you

with this Mr. Right.

he has helped me

but he will too

go through the same thing

with you

forever and always.

last thing to you.

i will not make a move, 

i will stand my ground.

if you love me the way i love you.

then in time God will bring us together.

by then, 

i will try

to keep you happy.

the way you've kept me happy

all the texts,

i've kept

all the words,

i remembered.

all the care,

i treasure it.

thank you. 

i love you. 

like a kid who loves her brother.

and i will continue to love you

just like this

not a thing more or less.

the more i do,

the more i hurt,

but the less i do

the less i feel.

thank you for everything.

please smile

cause you're cute that way.

smile widely,

you're cuter that way.

do your thing, 

which made me fall for you.

thank you so much.

for giving me the experience 

i never thought possible to happen.

to feel again, 

and to feel like i'm loved, 

by something physical,

and out of the supernatural

stay strong in the Lord, as you told me to.

i know

we're not possible,

and try i will not.

if we were meant to be something more.

then make your move. 

cause i'm lost in this.

you pulled me out of it.

when nobody else could.

they all left me

in the dark

lonely

depressed

sad

cried filled my nights.

but since you came in,

you pulled me into the light of the Lord.

i realised alot.

thanks to other friends too, who's been there for me with you.

in the midst of darkness.

you gave me your hand

as a friendly gesture.

i shouldn't think too much of it.

but is it too much to hope for more?

i'll stop all this now. 

cause it's useless typing all these.

when you know it's impossibe for it happen.

but i will stay strong.

as i have through the years without you.

not back in the darkness.

but in the light with you.

you've helped alot.

thanks for keeping up to your promise.

now smile,

stay strong,

and one day you can say,

you've forgotten.

thanks for the promise.

if we meet in the same way one day.

i will have the courage

to say it out loud.

thanks for keeping up to our promise,

please put a smile on that face,

cause i can't bear to see you cry.

for me even.

as much as i don't deserve this.

i will stand strong too.

for God. 

for myself.

i will put a smile on my face, and tell you

i'm fine.

and mean it one day.

please put a smile on that cute face of yours.

cause i can't bear to see you cry like this.

this is our promise.

the promise we made

through the whispers of the night.

i love you, take care.

may God bless you through your life. 

:)

are you an idiot?am I the idiot?

are you serious? everyone was as bad as me, and i was the only one who got nagged?? are you serious?! seriously!!! urgh!!!!! you don't even teach good!! dude, you're teaching us, i guarantee those who don't go to tuition out side, will fail their PMR

anyways, the day was purple, a mixture of black blue and red.:-

Black : don't get near me, or i will bite your head off of your neck (to LYY)

Blue : probably got too much sun walking home, nearly passed out :L

Red : kinda happy, cause texting with that person, actually made my day, although i have no idea why, but it really does.

He's kinda like a big brother, i've known him for a long time, but he doesn't, so tadaa~

complication

i guess the consequences of growing up would be that you will have complicated feelings,

i've never been like this before, the second she interrupts me, i freaked out, why did that happen?

@CYJ i'm so sorry for making you worry, i'm so sorry for making everyone worry! @KC @CYK i'm really sorry, please forgive me, i gotta post this, although i know you wouldn't ever see it, but i just gotta say, i'm sorry for putting the wall up between us, but that doesn't really meani hate yiu guys, i'm just afraid, even superman has to cry at times, gotta get over this, have gotta stop taking you guys for granted, i just thought that we're best friends, i can trust in you guys, when i learnt that you guys could be trusted, im really happy but the decision is mine, gimme some time, i'll sort this out.

falling in love with Eminem all over again! currently on Won't Back Down

TEEHEE

seriously?!

ok first, seriously?! is it really necassery? dude, it's not like i can't eat what you made...and boy, what you made sucks! + i chopped the coconut sweet! and u already started it when i'm done, so what's there to feel guilty bout? that's right! literally nothing!!!!

obsessed with Taylor's new song!! if you haven't already heard it, well, you might be hearing it, it's in the playlist, it's not hard to find==

the reason why i like the song : well, let's say that i this song is what i really feel at night sometimes, that the only time i'm safe is when i listen to music and sing till i die, locked up in my room, well, the only safe place i feel is there, don't judge me, you have no rights to judge me!

anyhow, CNY is almost here so that means my birthday is here too!!! give me more angpao!!

hahaha, just kidding! CNY, i wonder how will it be, i'm not looking much to it anymoire like i used to... let's hope no one's there to ruin my mood, and i can't believe my mom is treating my friends to karaoke, and the bad part bout it is that she's singing with us! *AWKWARD*

again there's nothing left to write about, so bye bye!!

WWE / school life / new movies~

WWE the WWE superstars hall of fame! BOOYAH! well, i'm sure and guarantied that Randy Orton will be in it someday! well, there's nothing much bout this post, ahh well~

my school life, ahh yes, hell in a cell has begun! ...again.....err..okay..anyways, well, a friend has transfered here, but then there's nothing special about it, my BFF came back from TAIWAN!! (finally) and she bought me something to eat and of course and and and!!! a turtle shaped like flute!! aww!! thanks Jing! you're Douche I'm Bag, together we're douchebag!!! lol== that sounds weird, not my style== anyways~ hoework, my Goodness== i cannot believe that it's piling up like a mountain!! pity my BFF who went to taiwan for a week~ hahaha! well, i'm in the same class with the real douchebags soo...yeah, class sucks! o.O

3rd, i'm waiting for The Hunger Games movie!! WOOTS! ahh~ The hunger games~ even the book is nice~ Suzanne Collins Thank You for hunger Games!! haha well, there's another one i would like to watch~ SnowWhite and the huntsman! gotta go bye,

Teehee